There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
