small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
