You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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