He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
