every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
