I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize