Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize