How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
