Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize