Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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