Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
should my penis look like a turkey
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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