You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
