i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
