Just fell off a train. Bad.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
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