If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
