dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Randomize
