Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
