I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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