i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
