i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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