Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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