I wish my penis had an off switch
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
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