he shaved USA in his pubs
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize
