she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
a search helicopter?!
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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