Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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