HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
