whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Every concussion has its silver lining
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
