Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
