its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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