and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
