Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
