He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
