They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
