I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
