On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
