Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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