i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
