Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
