I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
