i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
