His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
My dick has a subreddit
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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