this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
At least life still wants to fuck me.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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