Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
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