Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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