Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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