Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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