a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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