just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
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