I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
