I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
operation harelip BJ is a go
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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