So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize