that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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