I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
My dick has a subreddit
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
