The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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