I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize