All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
