i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
