I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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