I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
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