i think i have two assholes
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
