Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
