oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
