Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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