Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
honey bunches of taint.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Randomize