If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize