Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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