There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
