dude i'm inner monologue high
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
