she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
