i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
