why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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